Confused Walking Cucumber

For Leia:

Confused walking cucumber
Choosing now
And now again
To change direction
And now again
Chasing the young breeze
The quizzical scent
Now again
Feeling thrill in the change
And bemoaning it’s frequency

Befuddled meandering phallus
Your beauty lies always in your actions
Capricious though they certainly are
And perhaps fickle
But definitely capricious
And probably fickle
Too bad you don’t like that word

Oh perplexed perambulating pickle
I miss our strolls
And vibrant conversation
Salty exchanges

Disoriented dashing dildo
Jiggles up top
Jiggles in the middle
Jiggles in the basement

Stumped strolling sausage
I’m sure you enjoy my alliterative endeavors
May you carry them always
During your frequent forays
And also now


Douglas Adams was Wrong

 Because it’s my fucking birthday again 

And I’m self centered, just like you

So I decree that 41 is now

The answer to life

Giving me new opportunities 

To rise 

From my brick red chair of oppression 

(Fuck you, chair)

And define my future

This is the pivotal year 

I will make shifts for my own good

41 is the answer to the universe

Beginning once again in winter

Host to ancestors and descendants 

Blessing with wisdom and compassion 

While enjoying a fat snigger at my flailings 

Guiding me to a spiritual home

A safe and warm space 

41 is the answer to everything 

Except 42


So I’ve got just one year to get this shit right

Happy Birthday, stone

Pretty sure 40 made you its bitch

So let’s do this

In the dark

when light disappears
there is a moment
the illusion of safety
and the expanse of everything
creeps into consciousness
catching breath
stopping heartbeat
feeling at once
and fear

In that moment
of shocking knowingness

I want my fucking anonymity back

in the dark
there is no place to hide