The fist time I heard the phrase “Shut the door and open a window” was when I was teaching. The idea, for those who aren’t familiar, is to enforce a rule and make some kind of opportunity to redeem or move on. For most it works well, but not for all. Those with a self righteous sense of equality rail against it, and those who are depressed or meek might not look for the window or do the work when given. It is a good idea though, and it gives a glimpse into teacher mentality.
I’ve since heard it expressed by religious folk; “God never closes a door without opening a window.” Pretty considerate of that God, guy. He never gives us anything we can’t handle. Except for the plague, world wars and dictators, head on collisions, drug overdoses…… Ok yeah take your pick.
Recently I’ve been experiencing it differently. With all this writing and processing I am doing, as I figure things out I am closing doors. Women? Shut that one. Just a couple of days ago, actually. Windows are opening for me, though. The day after I decided to focus my energy on meeting LGBT people in my community and moving in that direction, I got set up on a blind date with a (gasp) woman (it’s just a low pressure hike with myself and the date and her friend that I had dated on just one date. Confused?). Then another window; my ex and I start talking much more than we had been. Some heavy conversation led to me writing her a personal blog of sorts. Ok fine it was a letter. Big shit in there, let me tell you. But it was received well and we will continue talking more. Where is all of this going? I’d be lying if I said had any clue. Makes for some fun drama. Unless the date is un-fucking-believable I’ll be hoping for friendship there. What about the ex? Well, we will talk. I’m not going to ask her to drop what she is doing, and she knows exactly what is going on in my head. She’s read every blog I’ve written and she’s supportive of me chasing boners.
As I close more doors and figure more out, it will be interesting to see which windows open for me. And who is it that is opening them? Ive got my eye on you, God! Don’t get crafty. Eh, it’s probably Pan. That dude is lusty and surely wants me to have a good romp.
Good night, and good luck. If you see a compelling boner that isn’t attached to a dick let me know.