How to Love an Empath

Ok. So, first. What is an Empath? This is for those of you that don’t see endless Facebook memes about it.  Not like they are accurate or informative anyways. Fuck Facebook. Fair warning: I have some serious snark tonight. I’ll try to reign it in for the good of humanity.
An Empath is someone that feels things that come from outside themselves. That’s the basic gist. Some are much more sensitive than others. Some only pick up things when they are with others, and some are unfortunate enough to pick up things anytime and anywhere and it could be unrelated to who and what they are currently around. There are different kinds of Empaths including emotional, intellectual, animal, crystal, plant, spiritual and mechanical. Yeah I’m not kidding. There are books on this. And it is some woo-woo shit, but I am one and I know it is real enough.

It should be noted that I’m not going to help anyone “diagnose” their partner as empathic. There are plenty of online resources to help with that. The journey of learning about one’s empathic nature is kind of a wild ride. There will be lots to process. I can honestly promise that it is worth the effort.

So you have fallen in love with an Enpath. Here are things you can expect:

  • Bullet points.
  • They will know things. Maybe they will tell you and maybe they won’t. But they will know. It’s totally up to you if you want to know what they do. There are pluses to either choice. I think it’s kinda cool when other Empaths share what they know with me. It is intimate and can be enlightening.
  • They are sensitive beings and most are very emotional. It is important that you not take their sensitivity personally. I know it is hard not to. I’ve watched a few of my partners really suffer with this. You need to worry about your stuff. Find a way to ask what they need and be supportive without sacrificing your emotions or sanity. Maybe they need space, maybe it is to be held and to feel stable energy. It is important to ask them. If they don’t know what to do and they know they are empathic, gently encourage them to find help. If you’re the cause of the problem, then you obviously have some shit to deal with. See how helpful I am ?
  • Be honest with them.
  • Be completely honest with them. Two bullet points here because of how important it is. Remember how I said they will know things? Well it is quite possible that they know you are full of the poo. Or maybe you are hiding feelings from your Empath? Bad idea. Here is the problem if you don’t see it; they will either know your feelings and what you tell them won’t match, which will make them not trust you, or they will know something is wrong and think that they are the problem. That is unfair. I know honesty hurts sometimes. If you are partnered with an Empath, honesty is the only beneficial way to communicate. Ever.
  • Untrained Empaths are a real challenge. I know as it took me years to figure a lot of this stuff out. I used to think I was fucked in the head and needed meds. Meds never worked, because it wasn’t a chemical problem. They might feel similar. Untrained Empaths don’t know how to distinguish what is theirs and what isn’t. They don’t know how to care for their own emotional self or how to protect themselves from negative shit. They will likely be running on intuition to care for themselves. It will keep them out of some trouble but not enough for them to thrive as people.
  • Negotiate with them for things that you need which are hard for them. It’s a relationship. They are going to have to compromise and not dominate the relationship with their needs. I look at this as basic introvert/extrovert negotiation. In some ways you are opposites. Sometimes they will need to step into a mall to go shopping with you, or attend to a family member in a hospital. Those places are so chaotic energetically. But, Empaths can’t run away from things they should do because they are Empaths.
  • Empaths do not deserve to dominate the relationship. Their sensitivity can make that happen, especially if you are one that enables them. You are an equal partner. Communicate with them. Work towards balance.
  • Love them for who they are. They are flawed people just like you.
  • Fuck them a lot.

My apologies for all the ‘might’s and ‘can be’s, for all the generalizing. It’s impossible to write a catch-all post like this. I really do hope that it helps. These were hard learned lessons for me. Feel free to ask questions in the comments.

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